


Brains and Bondage, or: Better Sex Through Science

by anthrophobe



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Alien Biology, Bondage, F/M, Light BDSM, M/M, Polyamory, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 11:23:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthrophobe/pseuds/anthrophobe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Metro Man can't have rough sex. He confides in his bestie. Megamind throws science at it. Orgasms are had by all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brains and Bondage, or: Better Sex Through Science

Apparently, part of this villain-turned-hero, best-buds-with-your-not-actually-slain-nemesis thing involves hanging out with Metro Man-cum-Music Man-cum- _you know what, just call me Wayne_ in his Secret Bachelor Hideout Pad. Or, at least, in Megamind’s case it does. Which may really be the only case of this rather unique situation, thereby setting the standard for all ex-enemy etiquette in the future, or maybe _it doesn’t actually matter_ and he should really just focus on what Metro Man, or, theoretically, Wayne, is asking him about his relationship with Roxanne.

More specifically, about his _physical_ relationship with her. Which might be a normal thing to ask your Platonic Male Friend over a cold beer, and, in Megamind’s case, a grape soda, because it’s two in the afternoon and also with _his_ metabolism, he is no longer allowed to imbibe. According to Roxanne. After that one time. But right now he’s _conversing_ with his _bro._

“Well, um, it exists. We’ve got one of those. Which is Exciting. Uh. I don’t actually have much of a frame of reference.”

Metro- uh, Wayne gives one of his Heroic chuckles and takes a swig of his beer. “You know, honestly, that doesn’t surprise me. Good to hear it’s going well for you two, though. Man, no offense, but Roxie is pretty fine.”

“Mmm, yes, that she is. Wait, why would I take offense at that? Roxanne is _gorgeous_! I mean, she has that spunky haircut which complements her facial structure and her eyes are Huge and Blue and there’s the ratio of her waist to her hips which is most _pleasing_ and I understand that she is sometimes self-conscious over her butt, but she should _not_ be because it is Splendid and you are giving me a Look.” Megamind trails off, somewhat puzzled by the way Wayne’s eyes have crinkled all up and he appears to be holding back laughter, which is really very un-Metro Man of him.

“Sorry, Little Buddy. No, it’s just, most guys can get a bit touchy when someone else talks about their girl.”

Megamind blinks. “But _why?_ ”

To be fair, Wayne looks a little confused himself. His eyebrows come together and makes that little crease in between them, the way they used to when he was Concerned for the Citizens whom Megamind’s Villainous Scheme was Currently Endangering.

“Well, I guess because if another man has something to say about the girl you’re with, it means he’s been looking, himself.” Megamind nods intently. “And if he’s been looking, he might want to do, you know, more than look.”

Megamind furrows his brow in thought. “I don’t get it.” He concludes.

Wayne laughs. “Well, most guys get jealous, Little Buddy. They want their girl all to themselves.”

“Hmm. Well, I suppose I can understand that, but we should be able to talk about Roxanne! Because Roxanne is Wonderful and Friends should talk about Wonderful things! Right?”

Wayne makes what Megamind has come to think of as his Indulgently Amused face. “Yes. I believe so.”

“Good! Because I’ve never had anyone to talk to about, well, girls, or, really, for that matter, any girls to talk about. Actually, before Roxanne, I was never all that interested. Getting the girl just didn’t fit into my life, you know, be the villain, plan the plans, get thoroughly foiled by the hero, rinse and repeat. But _wow_ was I wrong! Being the bad guy was fun, but actually, I think it’s overrated, because after the hero _wins_ , which is a quite a novelty in itself, he gets to get _jumped_ by the girl of his dreams and then they have wild, violent Sex that leaves _bruises_! Which actually, afterward, Roxanne asked if I was alright, which made me wonder if there was a reason why I wouldn’t be alright. And, uh, am I… oversharing?”

Wayne isn’t really looking at Megamind anymore, and, worse, he’s rubbing the back of his neck the way he had when he told them about his decision to give up Hero-ing.

“No, no, Little Buddy, it’s just- I mean, that sounds great, you know. I just… with the super strength…and things… you know.” He gives Megamind a sheepish grin.

“Oh. Oh!” Megamind frowns. “ _Ooh._ ”

There is a long and potentially awkward pause, which Megamind doesn’t really take notice of, distracted by the rapid whirring of the metaphorical cogs in his exceptionally large brain. Finally, his eyes refocuse on Wayne, who is looking a bit bemused, with the same light of inspiration which usually indicates some new doomsday device is soon to be deployed.

“ _I_ have a _Plan._ ” Megamind informs his former nemesis, in a tone which is Not Comforting.

-

“Roxanne!” Megamind bursts into the lair with a flourish and proceeds to dash madly about in search of the woman in question.

“Roxaaaanne!” He skids to a sudden and impressively dramatic halt when he spots her, apparently playing Go Fish with Minion at one of the desks. He keeps many scattered throughout the lair, seeming rather forlorn and almost naked without their previous covering of death ray schematics and detailed notes on upcoming Diabolical Plans. It warms the heart to see one getting any kind of use, as heroism seems to involve a great deal less planning and much more speedy reacting, so the desks and drafting tables have been rather neglected lately, but, seriously?

“Wait, are you two playing- nevermind. Roxanne!”

She offers his favorite indulgent smile. “Yes, dear, I can hear you.”

“Right! Roxanne, I have a Plan.”

“Oh?” She asks calmly and probably not with much trace of alarm.

“Um, well, yes. Er, Minion, could you-”

Minion gives an exaggerated sigh and stands to leave. “Yes, yes, I’ve got brain bots to repair.”

“Thank you! So, Roxanne. Am I allowed to tie Metro Man up and have sex with him?”

At that, Roxanne looks rather surprised, and then her eyes go out of focus and she stays that way for several moments. Megamind finds himself somewhat concerned, as he’s never seen her react in such a way, or, at least, hardly ever. Excluding, of course, certain occasions which he understands ought not be mentioned in polite company, but this isn’t really one of those-  
Oh! _Oh._

“Roxanne?” He ventures, hopeful and not remotely ludicrous grin still in place.

“Oh! Yes, sorry.” She giggles. “I needed a minute alone with that image.”

His grin quickly finds itself accompany but a deep blush at the Suggestiveness of That Tone. “So, uh, is that a yes?”

“You know, I think it is.” She replies thoughtfully, “Although you’d better tell me _all about it_ afterwards or you may find the tables turned on you.”

“Oh, is that a _promise_ , Miss Ritchie?”

-

Naturally, part of the Plan involves the precise application of Mad Science, which is how Roxanne comes to find Megamind standing in the middle of one of the labs with a hand clamped over his mouth and a far away look on his face. She pries the hand away and gently places a mug of hot coffee in it. Then she pulls up a seat to sip her own coffee and make sure he doesn’t burn himself. She truly is the perfect girlfriend.

“Maybe,” he mumbles, “maybe I could weave rope out of copper wiring.”

“Uh, you remember that copper was never _actually_ his weakness, right?”

He blinks. “Yes, yes, of course. That was. A test. Because, copper rope, that’s just ridiculous!”

She snorts at that in a way which is probably not very ladylike and rather unflattering, but nonetheless, his heart manages to do a happy little flip in response. The traitor. He is trying to be grumpy and also to do Science.

“In fact, we’ve pretty much established he hasn’t got any weaknesses, haven’t we? I mean, you would have found it by now if he did.” Well, even he can’t escape the logic in that statement.

“I’ve set yet another impossible task before myself, haven’t I?” he cries miserably. While his intellect may be unsurpassed upon this planet, there are some problems unsolvable even by his genius. And if he’s proven a talent for anything, it’s finding those _really very few!_ but often particularly Exciting problems.

“Well, technically, you’ve set the same impossible task before yourself again. For the third time.” Roxanne smirks all together too calmly. Damnable woman.

“This is _hopeless_!” He throws his arms up in despair, inadvertently and _completely unforeseeably_ flinging Very Hot Coffee across the room in the process.

-

Finally, after Megamind feels he’s given his nemesis, or _former_ nemesis, even, enough time to properly stew in trepidation over his possible fate, and also just managed to jerry-rig something which might be Clever enough to satisfy the requirements of his Plan, the Incredibly Handsome Master of Being Good Now Really journeys to the retired hero’s hideaway.

“Ha _ha_!” He announces, bursting into Wayne’s living room with a Grand and Sweeping Gesture and a handful of helpful brainbots in tow. “I have brought _rope_! And now, we shall have _sex_!”

Wayne is sprawled out on the couch, an unfathomably thick sandwich suspended halfway to his open mouth. Megamind holds his pose for almost a minute, awaiting a response, which he is growing somewhat concerned he may not get. He has very rarely seen Metro Man stunned into silence. Unimpressed into silence, perhaps, which he was man enough to admit, thank you, but not _stunned._

“Let’s try this again.” He enunciates, letting his arms drop. “I have brought _rope_. Let us commence with the _sex_.”

The repetition gets a response, at the least, if not the desired one.

“Wait, _what_?” Wayne shouts, “ _That’s_ your _plan_? How does that freakishly enlarged brain of yours even _work_?”

Fortunately, Megamind is accustomed to his Plans encountering some obstacles.

“Very well, thank you! And it’s a _fantastic_ Plan! See, the ropes are braided from graphite iron reinforced silk steel and a microcarbon offset alloy, bound together with a tachyon neutron web. Hence the brainbots, because that stuff is heavy!” He explains smugly. “One of my Most Criminally Magnificent Creations to date, if I do say so myself.”

Despite the considerable aplomb and also _genius_ , all the reaction that garners is Wayne’s continued incredulous stare. Megamind deflates somewhat. “Well, really, you can probably still break them, but. Don’t?”

“What? Even? Regardless of how _sturdy_ the _ropes_ are, where did you get the idea that, that propositioning me is something you get to just barge in and, and! Do!”

“Well, actually, I was more _mandating_ the kinky sexings than simply _proposing_ , but. Uh. I don’t know?”

“That is not a reason! That’s not just a bad reason, it’s _no reason_! And seriously, with the semantics, too, when you just _declared_ we’re gonna have _gay bondage sex_! Like you own the place! Or. Things.”

He has at least dropped, or, actually, thrown the sandwich aside at this point and progressed to flailing around the room, but Megamind is not really certain that can be seen as a move in his favor. The brainbots have taken to awkwardly milling about and pretending their enhanced visual and auditory sensors can somehow fail to notice the scene before them.

“What makes you think I want to have, you know, _any_ kind of sex with you?”

“Oh,” Megamind murmurs, “I actually don’t know that either.”

Wayne at least has the courtesy to stop waving his enormous arms and look somewhat abashed as he takes in Megamind’s disheartened slump and downturned eyes.

“I just,” he presses, “We always had so much _chemistry_ , back when you were foiling me all the time. The banter was so _good_. I guess I thought, now we’re on the same side, I don’t know, we could. Something.”

Apparently, Wayne ins’t sure how to respond to that declaration. With a look of Steely Resolve Megamind is all too familiar with, he turns and strides directly for the minibar. He drops a few cubes of ice into a glass and very deliberately fills it with scotch before returning to the couch.

He takes a long swig before returning Megamind’s gaze. “I. Never knew that.”

“Really? I thought it went without _saying_. I mean, all the other villains I’ve talked to, well. It’s rather common.”

“Wait, what? No, nevermind. I do not need to know that.” He raises his scotch back to his lips. “Oh, hey, do you want any?”

“Oh, no! I mean, wait, what time is it?”

“About six?”

“Okay, you know what, yeah. Give me one of those _al-kayall-ic_ beverages!”

Wayne snickers and rises to pour Megamind a drink of his own. “Alright, then. It’s about time we got shitfaced together.”

-

“So, wait, wait, let me get my head around-”

“Your _tiny_ head!”

“Lemme get my tiny head- hey, wait, my head is perfectly normal!”

“But it’s so little!”

“No, it’s not, it’s-”

“All kinda cute-”

“It’s a good head size. It’s sized like a, like a good head. Wait, my head’s cute?”

“Yeah, like, at the top, where your forehead’s all short and stuff? But then your jaw is like, I don’t even know, it’s just _enormous_ and it’s all, um, um, how’s that called?”

“Manly?” Even drunk, Wayne can throw around a patented All-American Smile. “Heroic?”

“Butch!” Megamind announces triumphantly.

“What, seriously? You really are gay, aren’t you?”

“What? No! I’m _dating_ Roxanne Ritchie, aren’t I? Who is decidedly of the female persuasion! Like, very. Very. Decidedly.”

“Fair enough. Wait, _Roxie_!”

“Yeah?”

“You’re _dating_ Roxie!”

A lazy smile spreads across Megamind’s face. “Yes, I am.”

“No, Buddy, I mean you can’t fuck me, I mean, even theoretically! Cause! Roxie!”

“Oh, no, I already asked. Project Bondage Sex With Metro Man has Roxanne’s seal of approval. We are a go.”

“Wait, you _asked_ her? You _told_ her you were gonna tie me up and, I dunno, have your wicked way with me? Not that you’re gonna!”

“Well, of course, I told her! She’s my _girlfriend_. Wait, why not?”

“Um. Because.”

“Heeeeey, that’s not a reason at all. And plus, weren’t you saying something?”

“I guess. When?”

“Before. About your head.”

“Right! I was gonna ask you-”

“How to insert something into your head? I’m not trying to do that anymore.”

“No, not even a little. Why would you think that?”

“I’m a lot more interested by the idea of inserting something elsewhere.”

“Oh! My God! Okay.” Wayne takes several deep breaths. “As I was saying. So, _you_ were saying, that you’ve, well, since _grade school?_ ”

“Well, no, I haven’t wanted to, as they say, ‘tap that’ since shool, because, we were, like, _really young_ , but yes, I knew we were intended to have a Glorious Destiny together. Since then.”

“Wow. I. Need another drink.”

“Ooh, as do I!”

-

Suddenly, Megamind finds a pair of very warm, very forceful lips meeting his. Metro Man is kissing him. He is _making out_ with the Defender of Metrocity, admittedly now former, but _still_ , and he isn’t even sure how they got to this point. Excepting the obvious fact that he had come here specifically to instigate this kind of activity, of course, but literally, one minute they had been reminiscing about old times and the next. Well, now he’s pinned to the couch and gasping for breath.

The stubble burn is unexpected and surprisingly Exciting.

While there is nothing about this situation Megamind finds objectionable, strictly speaking, he’s pretty sure that’s meant to be the other way around.

When Metro Man finally breaks away to gasp for air and stare at him in surprise, which is a little odd since _he’s_ the one who started _this_ , he tells him as much, and is gifted with a giddily nervous laugh from the man atop him, which vibrates through where their hips are pressed against each other, which is really, _really_ nice.

“Right. Well.” Wayne throws on his classic bravado. “Who am I to stand in the way of Megamind, Defender of Metrocity?”

“Ee! You said the thing that I say!”

Wayne rolls his eyes. “Yeah, thanks for explaining, Buddy. I was _trying_ to set a _mood_ or something.”

“Oooh, I’ll show you how to set a mood.” Megamind croons.

And then he’s miraculously twisted out from beneath Wayne’s not-at-all-inconsiderable and super-humanly-muscled bulk to reappear looming over him with a Villainous Eyebrow and his slender fingers folded menacingly on the arm of the couch, inches away from Wayne’s kiss-swollen lips.

“Well, Nemesis Mine, it seems I have you in my clutches at last.”

Pause to _chuckle darkly_ and to enjoy Wayne’s stunned, gaping silence.

“Brainbots!” He cries with a flourish, before adopting a lower, more sinister tone. “Bring me the _rope_.”

A flurry of brainbots dart in from where they’d tactfully secluded themselves down the hall, lugging an enormous coil of shining metallic rope, and swarm behind their master in precisely the most dramatic way conceivable to his profound intellect. That had been one of the most complex bits of coding.

“Oh, okay, this is really happening.” Wayne says, scrambling backwards into a kneeling position. It still brings him taller than Megamind, but hey, he’s not going to count a gift horse’s teeth before it’s hatched when he has _Metro Man_ shirtless, which, when did _that_ happen? And on his _knees_.

“Yes, dear, that’s the general idea.”

“No, yeah, I know that. I just.” Wayne makes his Awkward Face, which Megamind has fortunately seen little of over the years and still finds rather unnerving. “I don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Kinky sex with my former enemy!” He exclaims, as if that should have been clear. “I mean, my costume is _white_. Like _vanilla._ ”

“Inconsequential! Onto the bed with you, before I put you there myself.” It’s a thoroughly empty threat, of course, but he’s gambling that Wayne will play along.

There’s a tense moment where Wayne simply stares at him, probably having one of those Dramatic Inner Battles heroes seem rather prone to. Megamind does his best not to show weakness, and it pays off. He follows Wayne over to the bed in silence.  
It’s an enormous, blessedly four-post wonder, laid out in creamy white and gold, like everything else in the lair. Wayne blends in effortlessly against the endless plane of white, but Megamind, all black and blue and leather and spikes, looks decidedly foreign, if not outright _garish_. It _works_ for him.

Wayne flops backward onto the mattress and pulls Megamind along with him, kissing over his neck and jaw until he finds his way back to those soft, blue lips. This time it’s a leisurely exploration, and Megamind just melts into the kiss for a long time, until he remembers that he has a _mission_ here.

He yanks himself upright and out of Wayne’s grip, thanks primarily to the benefit of surprise.

“Your attempts to distract me from my Ultimate Goal will not succeed, however _tantalizing_ they may be!” He allows a Decidedly Wicked Smirk to spread across his lips. “Now, hands. Above. Your head. _If you please._ ”

Metro Man is practically panting, and he complies wordlessly, stretching his massive arms towards the bed’s posts in a frighteningly convincing image of helplessness. Megamind feels momentarily lost before Metro Man picks the act back up.

“You’ll never get away with this, Megamind!” He snarls.

“Oh, _really_?” He waves the brainbots forward and they begin to secure the hero’s wrists. “We’ll see about that.”

Megamind kneels up on the bed, positioning himself between Wayne’s casually spread thighs. “Okay, now shoo!” He tells the swarm of bots. “And wipe your short term memory banks!”

He turns back to see Wayne flexing against his bonds gingerly. “These are pretty strong. I’m impressed, Buddy.”

Megamind endeavors not to look too concerned, and mostly fails. “Please don’t break them,” he pleads.

“Wasn’t planning to,” he replies dubiously, “But I can’t make any promises.”

Megamind chokes off a whimper and determinedly remains In Character.

“That,” he intones, looming over Metro Man, “is simply unacceptable.”

And he dives in for a kiss before his foe has a chance to retort. He takes the kiss deep, using his superior leverage to control it, and pulls slowly, _tantalizingly_ away when he feels Metro Man rise up to meet him, trailing wet kisses down his thick throat and across his clavicle.

He gives a sharp nip before kneeling up to gaze imperially down upon his conquest. Wayne appears suitably dazed; his pupils blown and his broad chest all but heaving. Everything going according to plan, then. Megamind smirks and brings one gloved hand to his own mouth. He takes the tip of a finger into his mouth, gently teething the fabric away. He has found this trick can get a very pleasant response from Roxanne.

As he peels the latex back from his slender hands, Wayne’s eyes make a valiant attempt to come back into full focus, avidly fixed on the long, blue fingers being unsheathed.

Promising.

When Megamind has finally completed the painstaking process of slipping his gloves off, he tosses them over his shoulder with a flourish and presses his open hands flat on the vast expanse of firmly muscled pectorals before him with great relish. Metro Man’s chest is hot and impossibly solid beneath his sensitive palms, and his thick, wiry hair scratches and clutches as he drags his fingers across his skin.

When Wayne seems to have fully relaxed into the caress, Megamind ducks his head to lap at one small, pink nipple. He feels a sudden ripple of tension run through the body beneath him and can just picture Metro Man’s eyes flying open, caught between scandalized and intrigued. He hums smugly around the hardening nub in his mouth and enjoys the sigh it elicits.

Tentatively, he brings his teeth to bear. He nips gently, more for fear of chipping a tooth than hurting his nemesis. Metro Man gives a sort of roll upwards, like a gentle wave rocking him upwards into Megamind. While Very Pleasant, it also jostles him loose, and he takes the opportunity to relocate his voice.

“So, for the record. Any _pointers_ or, uh, _feedback_ would not go amiss.”

Wayne chuckles, all limp limbed and mellow. “You’re doing pretty well so far, Buddy.”

Megamind attempts to viciously twist a nipple in response, but gets only a pleased, throaty moan for his efforts. Which, you know, is nice, but he was trying to demonstrate who’s in charge here.

“No, seriously. I am a _scientist_ ,” he admonished. “Without the ability to accurately catalogue results, experimentation is meaningless.”

Metro Man gives a lazy, full body wriggle and gifts him with a lazy, lopsided smile. “So, this is all an experiment to you.”

“Naturally.”

“Of course.”

“And I _will_ get results.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it.”

“Hmm.” He smiles, sly and reptilian. “I think I’ll take that as a challenge.”

He slides smoothly down the bed, curling his fingers under the waist of Wayne’s flannel pants and tugging them clean off. Immediately, Metro Man’s cock bobs up, resting against his taut stomach.

It is as thick as the rest of him and flushed quite pink. He gives it an experimental stroke, and discovers a thin furl of skin at the tip. He draws it back to fully reveal the flaring of the head. A single bead glistens at the tip and, glancing up to see Metro Man craning his neck to watch, he lowers his mouth to close over it.

He tastes warm and salty sour and not a thing like Roxanne, and his flesh is marble solid and unyielding under Megamind’s curious tongue, like every other part of him. He presses his dexterous tongue along first the slit and then the rim of the wide head, filing away texture and sensitivity. He slurps back off the head and tongues his way down the apparently very responsive underside down to the root, and then suckling his way back up along the thick cord.

He pauses to pull in a deep breath and catch Metro Man’s eye before swallowing him as far as he can. His lips pull taut around Metro Man’s girth, stretching the muscles of his jaw. Cautiously, he begins to bob his head, noting the slide of the skin under his tongue and the minute, aborted jerks of Metro Man’s hips beneath his hands. He hums happily around the cock in his mouth and receives a sudden, uncontrolled thrust for his trouble. He is rocked back onto his heels and he stares down at the miraculous site of Metro Man wide eyed and rock hard, worrying his lip between his teeth.

It is so, _so_ good to be bad.

“I want,” he exhales, barely vocalized, “to fuck you.”

Shockingly, _fantastically_ , Metro Man sounds as winded as he does. “Yeah. Uh, yeah, okay. Aren’t we? You know, doing that?”  
Megamind laughs breathlessly, shaky with adrenaline. “Yes. Yes, we are. But I mean. _Fuck_ you.”

He slinks backward off the bed, finding enough room to for the complicated contortions required to unzip his suit by himself. It’s slow work, stripping the skin tight leather and latex from his slender frame without looking like a Completely Spaztastic Derp, but he’s been _practicing_. And for as many odd angles he has to coerce his joints into while still projecting his Suave Persona, it is absolutely worth it to watch Wayne determinedly remaining positioned as Megamind left him while trying to lean forward as far as he can.

When he reveals his narrow, hairless chest, Megamind can’t help but feel a twinge of self-consciousness, next to Metro Man’s inescapable Broad Hairy _Manliness_ , but the look he’s getting from his ex-enemy quickly clears any such concerns from his mind. When he slips the costume off his narrow hips and lets it fall to the floor, he’s gleaned enough of an ego boost off that to keep fronting.

With a confident leer pasted firmly across his face, he crawls back up the bed and situates himself between Wayne’s muscular thighs, ignoring his Confusey Face. He trails a hand down his flat belly to the tender seam at the crest of his groin and teases the opening with his thumb. At this point, it doesn’t take much to coax his cock out of hiding. It emerges with a faint, slick noise and slaps wetly against Metro Man’s.

That elicits a long, whining moan and a “Hooooly shit. That. Was unexpected.”

Megamind’s smile is equal parts relief and oh- _crab-nuggets_ -aroused-out-of-my-Very-Impressive-Mind as he frots leisurely against his counterpart and leans down for a slow, shallow kiss. “So,” he murmurs against Metro Man’s gasping, open mouth, “How about the fucking?”

“Ooh,” Wayne moans, “I mean, uh. Yeah. Yeah, I think I want that.”

“Really!?” Megamind can’t contain the broad grin that splits his face as he lunges for his belt. “Awesome!”

“Wait, wait, you keep lube in your utility belt!?”

“Uh, not usually,” he protests as he spreads said lube over his fingertips, “It was Roxanne’s suggestion.”

“Oh my God,” Wayne groans, “Please, just kill me now.”

“No!” Megamind insists, somewhat more firmly than strictly necessary, “Byyy which I mean. You know she thinks this is totally hot, right?”

“Uh, no, Little Buddy, I actually don’t. I haven’t had the chance to discuss it with her ye- Oh there are fingers that are cold!”

“Sorry!” Megamind quickly withdraws the offending digits and works the admittedly quite chilly lube between his fingers for a little warmth before stroking his way back along Metro Man’s crack. “Better?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Alright, your answer is not supposed to be a question.”

“Okay, yes, that is. Not cold.”

Megamind teases the tip of one narrow finger past the tight ring of muscle. “Is that all?” He pries.

“Uh, no, no, I guess. That’s. Actually pretty nice.”

“Just “pretty nice”?” He asks innocently, working a second finger into him and reaching for the prostate-equivalent he knows must be in there. When he finds a smooth little ridge and gets a startled gasp of a moan out of Wayne, he’s pretty sure he’s succeeded.

“Alright, it’s really,” he presses his hips back against the pair of slender fingers with a rattling groan, “Really good.”

Megamind twists his fingers in and out, easing a third in and thanking Evil Heaven for how rapidly Metro Man adapts. “How much do you want this?”

“What!?”

“Please, _Metro Man_ , I’ve got my fingers up your ass, don’t pretend to be scandalized now,” He croons, “I _asked_ how much you want this.”

“You _fiend,_ ” he gasps, “I will _not_ be reduced to _begging._ ”

“Actually,” Megamind chuckles as he draws his fingers out, “I suspect you _will._ ”

_That_ particular trick is rewarded with a heartfelt growl, but, true to his word, Metro Man wreaks no abuse upon the ropes. Megamind repositions his hips, slowly rocking his cock between Metro Man’s cheeks, dragging it agonizingly across his hole on each stroke.

“We both know,” he murmurs into Metro Man’s ear, “you want me. And you will not get what you want until you _ask._ ”

He runs his tongue along the shell of that ear, “ _Nicely._ ”

“Megamind,” Metro Man growls, and oh, how he has missed that tone, “You. You’ve already _won_ , alright. Just. _Please._ ”

“Yes, Sir,” Megamind whispers, and presses gradually inside.

And then has to hold very, very still for a bit and allow himself, far more than Wayne, time to adjust, because _tight_ and hot as a _furnace_ with his superhuman metabolism. Plus, honestly, Metro Man’s broad chest heaving in short, aborted gasps under his bare hands is not something Megamind ever really expected to _have_.

Megamind sucks in a shaky breath and bends so he’s laying flush against his Beloved Nemesis, course chest hair scratching against his nipples, hot cock trapped against his flat stomach. He curls a hand at the base of Metro Man’s small, alien skull and yanks, and then still has to crane his own neck forward and _stretch_ , but he gets their lips to meet. Then gently rolls his hips.  
“Oo _ooh._ ” Someone says into the kiss, and really, it could be either of them.

Which is all the encouragement Megamind needs to just let go and _take_ the man, like the spoils of his Long Awaited Victory.  
Metro Man wraps his thick, powerful legs around Megamind’s narrow hips and levers himself back onto Megamind’s cock, rolling his hips in time to the sharp thrusts and digging his heels into the small of Megamind’s back. Between the two of them, it doesn’t take much to start rattling the bed on it’s frames.

Megamind slips a slender hand between them, resting his weight on the other. He tweaks Metro Man’s nipples and slides lower, petting the trembling muscles of his belly before taking a sharp turn and teasing along the crease of one straining thigh. And then repeats the entire excersize It takes all of two cycles of this treatment before Metro Man lets out a very un-heroic whining keen.

“Fucking _tease_ ,” he accuses on a broken gasp.

Megamind rears back to look him in the eye, all innocence. “Pardon me?”

Metro Man grumbles something that probably contains a few _you fiends_ and ends with a mile long _please_. Megamind decides it is his New Favorite Sound.

Megamind kneels up and rolls his hips leisurely between Metro Man’s legs, chuckling.

“Please _what_?”

Metro Man’s eyes are blown wide and he’s panting in a surprisingly incredulous way.

“Please _sir_?” He hazards.

Megamind giggles delightedly. “No, _Metro Man_ ,” he leers, trailing slender fingers across his chest, “What are you asking for?”

“Gah _huh_?”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Buuuuuddy!” He whines, “ _Touch. Me._ ”

Megamind’s grin stretches wider and wider, out of control. It’s actually starting to hurt.

“I’m already touching you quite a lot. You’ll have to be more specific.”

That earns a remarkable string of expletives and random consonants. Metro Man’s fists are curled white knuckles tight on the rope over his head, massive arms trembling with the effort to stay where they are. If it isn’t the Most Extraordinarily Satisfying, Not To Mention _Sexy_ , Thing Megamind has ever seen, it definitely makes the Top Five.

“I need.” Metro Man grits out, voice choking on restraint. “Your. Hand. On my cock. _Please._ ”

By now, Megamind is practically _vibrating_ with delight, and he is all too happy to comply. Vigourously.

Metro Man hyperventilates when he finally comes, back arching violently and spasming so hard Megamind is clinging to him for dear life when he follows him over the edge with giddy laugh.

They lie there for an indeterminate, but probably very long, stretch of time, just breathing. Megamind pulls out gently, hissing as his limp cock slides back into it’s sheath, and collapses with his face buried against Metro Man’s neck, taking in the staggeringly beautiful sound of his gasps and petting his shaking arms.

“You,” Wayne murmurs, “Are _so_ evil.”

Megamind snickers, nuzzling closer to his throat. “You know it.”

When he thinks his legs will hold him, Megamind crawls up the bed to untie his partner. Wayne uncurls his fists from the metal with noticeable effort and Megamind gasps. The rope is frayed and stretched to it’s limit where Metro Man’s throes had pulled, but, wear and tear withstanding, they _held_.

“Holy _shit._ ” He breathes.

“Wait, what!?” Wayne tenses up, and then frowns. “You can swear?”

“What? Of course I can swear! And also that is beside the point. Look!”

Megamind manages to pull the rope out of it’s knots and they tumble to the floor under their own weight. The two scramble to the end of the bed and peer over, Megamind pointing frantically.

“My rope totally works!” He exclaims triumphantly, “Behold the brilliance of me!”

Wayne flops back onto the bed, burying his face in his hands. “As if you need any encouragement.”

“Oh, come on,” Megamind whines, crawling back onto him, “You liked it.”

“Yes, I did,” Wayne mumbles from behind his wide palms, “I, uh. I really did.”

Megamind wriggles happily. “Now I get to tell Roxanne all about how much you liked it.”

Wayne moans miserably and rolls over, sending Megamind tumbling off the bed.

“Or!” He springs to his feet. “You _could_ tell her yourself.”

“Oh, Little Buddy,” Wayne mumbles, “I really hate you.”

“Liar! That is a pookah _lie_! Come on, let’s go see Roxanne.”

“This is going to come back to bite me in the ass, isn’t it?”

“Well, if you’re into that kind of thi-”

“No! No, what’s wrong with you!?”

-

Megamind’s voice echoes through the lair. “Honeeey! I’m hoooome!”

She smiles softly and shakes her head. “How’d it go?” She called.

“Well,” he says, bounding into the room, “I brought company.”

Roxanne turns to see a very sheepish looking Wayne, in civilian clothes that _weren’t_ his robe and pajamas, shuffling in after an especially pleased looking Megamind.

“I take it the experiment was a success, then?”

All their blushing is answer enough.


End file.
